It’s been a bad week for women…

I didn’t really have the urge to blog this week because, well, I didn’t really have the urge to do anything this week. Yet as I scoured the internet last night trying to catch up on some pop culture news I may have missed, I was quickly overwhelmed with the need to vent.

These are the three stories that pushed me over the edge…

1. Christine O’Donnell/every female Tea Party candidate

Yet another conservative female candidate has managed to infiltrate American politics in spite of their shady background, inability to hold a debate and the fact that they’re generally considered unqualified. Oh, and she’s crazy.

That’s really all I have to say.

2. Gabourey Sidibe’s Elle magazine cover

Obviously, Elle made two big mistakes: putting Gabby in a hideous wig and dramatically lightening her skin. The October issue actually has four different covers, each featuring a young Hollywood starlet. But surprise, surprise, Gabby is the only one whose body is hidden. Third mistake.

And just like that Elle managed to insult every black woman in America, reinforcing the idea that you’re not beautiful unless you’re white, skinny, and have straight hair.

Did the magazine really think they’d get away with this without anyone noticing? Or are they ignorant enough to think that putting an overweight black girl on their cover was so commendable that people wouldn’t care?

In a statement, Elle claimed that Gabby’s cover “was not retouched any more or less than the others.” Well, if that’s the case then I guess the other three covergals must look Hispanic in real life. Also, considering how light the color of the wig is, it seems they must have planned on lightening her skin as it would be unbelievably tacky with her real complexion.

Everyone responsible for this cover should be fired. Seriously.

3. ‘Bridalplasty’

While E! may be known for low-brow reality TV programming, the network’s newest show is certainly the most disturbing and deplorable series yet. The premise: 12 brides-to-be compete in wedding themed challenges for plastic surgery procedures off their “wish-list.”

Here’s a clip of the press release E! sent out yesterday:

In a moment anticipated all season long, the bride will finally walk down the aisle to reveal her new appearance to her husband-to-be. Viewers will witness his emotional and possibly shocked reaction as they stand at the altar and he lifts her veil to see her for the first time following her extreme plastic surgery. The dramatic finale marks the end of her quest for perfection and reveals if her dream wedding does in fact become a reality.

This really makes me sick. I can’t believe a scummy bunch of TV execs could sit around a table and actually decide this was a good concept for a show. And this is coming from a girl who watched Rock of Love.

Has it really come to this America?

Are You Ready For Some Football, Ladies?

Indeed, there are many reasons to dread September (back-to-school, colder weather, uncomfortable clothing, flu season, allergies, the mind-numbing media coverage leading up to the November elections, ect).

But as we begin to say our goodbyes to summer, I think it’s important that we try and stay positive. Afterall, the fall season does have two very big attributes: beautiful foliage and football (and/or the MLB playoffs, depending on you’re preference).

Whether you spend your Sundays drinking alone in your room and screaming profanities at the TV like myself or root for your favorite team at a bar like a normal person, here’s some stuff to help ya do it in style…

(NOTE: If your team isn’t represented in one of the items below, don’t fret–they make the same thing for every team)

KE Specialties Philadelphia Eagles Spa Set: Modell’s.com, $44.99

Ok, so this may be a bit over the top. But it would make a cute present for a fellow female fan. Plus, it can be really hard to find nail polish that matches your team’s colors exactly.

Ladies Choice 40 Koozie: BustBoobtique.com, $8.95

Considering the length of an average football game and the short commercial breaks, a 40 oz malt beverage certainly makes sense. More beer = fewer trips to the fridge = smaller chance of you missing any big plays.

Wincraft Snack Helmet: NFLShop.com, $54.99

Indeed this is a bit pricey, but what a lovely decoration it makes!

Reebok Women’s Stripped Tube Socks: Modells.com, $9.99

Because really, every jersey should be accessorized with matching lucky socks.

Women’s NFL Boyshort Undies: Ebay.com, $12.95

And matching lucky undies? Perhaps these should be reserved for the playoffs.

Ipod Football Speaker Pillow: Amazon.com, $14.99

Something comfortable to rest you head on during the game while simultaneously allowing you to create your own soundtrack…what a clever invention!

Topperscot Pennant Party Lights: NFLShop.com, $21.99

Whether you put them outdoors or indoors, these are certainly a cute decoration.

Those “sun spots” may actually be “sun fungus”

Getty Images

Every summer for the past few years, small light blotches have appeared on my upper arms as soon as I start to get a decent tan.

I know two other girls who also get similar spots on their arms and/or upper back when they tan (either naturally or fake bakin’). Last summer I tried rubbing Head & Shoulders on my arms for 10 minutes a day after one of them said that’s what her doctor recommended.

The result: it didn’t get rid of the blotches but did dry the crap out of my skin.

Anyway, despite having soaked up the sun quite a bit earlier this summer, I was blotch-free until I returned home from my recent California vaca.

And they came back with a vengeance.

Too unsightly to ignore, I decided it was time to ask my doctor what the deal was with these so-called “sun spots” and demanded a prescription of some sort. It turns out, the medical term is tinea versicolor, defined by Google Health as “a long-term (chronic) fungal infection of the skin.”

Hence the less scientific term “sun fungus.”

The cause: an overgrowth of a certain type of yeast on the skin’s surface.

The main symptom: patches of discolored skin that that do not darken in the sun and appear most commonly on the back, underarms, upper

though my patches aren't this severe, the discoloration is similar

arms, chest, and neck. Depending on your skin color, the patches can be dark reddish-tan in color or appear  lighter than the surrounding healthy skin.

It’s a very common condition commonly affecting adolescents and young adults, especially those in warm and humid environments. That said, I suspect that the transition from the beautiful Cali weather to Philadelphia’s ungodly summer temps is what exacerbated my fungal outbreak.

As for getting rid of this fungus, it appears all you can do is hope that it eventually goes away and seek temporary treatment in the meantime.

The medical Web sites I looked at recommended anti-fungal medication (clotrimazole, ketoconazole, or miconazole) and insisted over-the-counter dandruff shampoos can work. Google Health suggests that you just somehow avoid excessive sweating. My doctor prescribed me a dandruff shampoo (Selenium Sulfide) which was about $18 dollars more than Head & Shoulders and probably only 5 percent stronger.

So far my blotches seem to be getting a little less noticeable, but that might just be because I’m loosing my tan. I guess I’ll have to put it to the test again next summer when the blotches inevitably return.

The good news: regardless of wether you suffer from sun fungus, you just learned something new today.  

Lunchmeat and Gender Stereotypes

Every time I venture downtown, I am greeted by this ad for the Philly-based delicatessen manufacturer Dietz & Watson.

And each time, it irks the crap out of me (I took the photo with my camera phone on the other side of the street so you’ll have to pardon how shitty it is).

The ad is part of the company’s “Momma Dietz Says” campaign and definitely more insulting to women than their billboard ads. It features the so-called “Mother of All Meats” holding an over-dramatized, meat-filled sandwich and reads:

“My secret? I’m a real mom.”

Obviously, the company is hoping mothers will see the ad on their way home from work, become envious of Momma D’s sandwich-making abilities then rush to the nearest deli to purchase premium Dietz & Watson meat and cheese so that they too can feel like a real mom.

The message: if you’re not making your children impressively hefty, homemade sandwiches, you’re slacking on your domestic duties and therefore, not a good mother.

If you think this ad is innocent and I’m making a big fuss over nothing, I ask you this: what if it were an ad for household cleaning product with the same tag-line?

Not cool.

Being a company passed down from three generations, the whole ‘grandma spokeswoman’ thing makes sense. I mean, that “Where’s the beef?” lady did wonders for Wendy’s.

But must they play on the maternal insecurities of unsuspecting women whilst reinforcing outdated gender roles just to sell lunchmeat?

I do believe men make sandwiches.

Americans Weigh In On Gender Inequality

Between June 14th and 21st, Harris Interactive surveyed 2,227 adults online about the current state of gender equality in America and, well, the results are pretty appauling.

Just slightly over half (52%) of the participants believe that it’s still an issue in this country. Not surprising, of those who believe that it isn’t an issue, 55 percent were men and 32 percent were women.

What makes this worse is the fact that more people acknowledged that women often do not receive the same pay as men for doing exactly the same job (69 percent) and that women are often discriminated against when it comes to promotions (62 percent).

Conclusion: a lot of Americans don’t understand what equality is.

Florence & The Machine Are Gonna Rock the VMAs!

photo: florenceandthemachine.net

Ok, so I just hopped on the Florence bandwagon like a month ago (I’m very sheltered musically). But because I’m a newbie fan, I’m still in that “OMG I wanna listen to these songs over and over again!!” phase.

That said, I was pretty freakin pumped when I found out she was going to be performing at this year’s VMAs and nominated for 4 awards (Video of the Year, Best Rock Video, Best Cinematography and Best Art Direction…all for ‘Dog Days Are Over’ which, I swear, is like religious experience).

Appropriately, this is how Flo described the song to USA Today:

“For me ‘Dog Days’ symbolizes apocalyptic euphoria, chaotic freedom and running really really fast with your eyes closed. I hope to somehow encapsulate those things in my performance at this years VMA’s.”

Couldn’t have said it better myself. In case you’re not familiar, click here to watch the video.

Now go vote for FATM now so that Lady Gaga doesn’t walk away with the entire freakin’ show!

And make sure to watch the VMAs on Sept. 12th (considering last year’s shinanagans, there will probably be some good water-cooler gossip the following morning).

I’m an organizational genius!

I can't believe I had this many pins and broaches!

My bedroom has been in complete disarray for the last several months and I’ve spent the last two days finally cleaning it. I’ve scrubbed, I’ve organized, I’ve removed three big trash bags worth of crap and amazingly, I’m still not done.

But while I still need to unload my bookshelf (which looks like it’s about to capsize at any moment) and rummage through my bin of scarves/gloves/belts/purses, my other accessories are more orderly than they’ve ever been.

You see, I have more clothes and jewelry than any human being could ever possibly need. And despite having invested in numerous types of storage containers and organizational contraptions, most of them are either overflowing or not being utilized correctly.

My large jewelry box being one of those.

It all started as a preteen spending my allowance every week at Claire’s. Since then, I’ve inherited most of my grandmother’s insane collection of costume jewelry, developed a sunglass addiction, decided I looked cute with big decorations in my hair, and regularly replenished my collection to make up for the pieces I lost or broke.

At any given time, there’s literally a piece jewelry lying on every flat surface in my room. Occassionally I’ll go around and pick them up, but only to throw them back into the motherload pile.

That said, I decided to get serious about arranging my abundance of necklaces, rings, earrings, hair clips, hairbands, and sunglasses in a way that not only makes it easy for me to locate them, but actually put them back in their designated spot.

When I turned to Google for some tips, I wound up finding a long list of very creative suggestions. The problem:

A. most of them didn’t take my laziness into account

B. required me to go out and buy something or

C. seemed like they would turn into a huge craft project and I think turning my shit-hole of a room into a haven is about as much of an challenge as I can handle right now.

So I improvised. Here’s the result (I apologize how bad the photos look…I had to use my shitty old camera):

I used the top and bottom of an old necklace box to create dividers between the bigger and smaller rings/earrings.

Each drawer is separated into rings and earrings I would wear together.

the middle compartment is just big chucky necklaces that I don't really wear and wouldn't get tangled. The compartment covered is my most prized pieces.

Since I didn't like my dangle earrings being shoved into my jewlery box, I hung them on this little wire bowl I had and put my bracelets in it.

This was some cheap candle holder that I was about to throw out. Can believe how perfectly they fit! And it takes up less space than lying them out.

I've actually been using this little rack for all my necklaces even though it's clearly not accomodating to long ones

And so I decided to hang my long necklaces (as well as some short ones that didn't fit on the little rack) on my wall next to my mirror.

My hair clips looked messed up if they don't lie flat so I just clipped them onto my curtain. I though this was pretty brillant...and it makes for cute decoration

Ok, so this looks a little retarded. It was just an experiment. Although, I like them hanging rather than being shoved in a container.

If you’re a Tidy Tina, this may not seem like much. But I wish I had taken a “before” photo.

GQ Is Gonna Rock Your World

Do you remember the excitement you felt skimming through Tiger Beat as a hormonal 12 year old girl? Well, go pick up the August issue of GQ and you’re memory shall be refreshed (unless you’re still attracted to Tiger Beat hunks or just not into dudes altogether).

It’s the magazine’s annual Comedy Issue [translation: lots of hot, funny guys looking hot and being funny]. You even have three cover dudes to choose from: Paul Rudd, Zach Galifianakis, and Tracey Morgan (it was Zach’s mug that inspired me to creep over to the magazine rack).

Once I was opened it up and saw the photo spread of Mr. Rudd being goofy/adorable, Jason Sudeikis modeling suits and Michael Cera chilling around town without pants–I was sold. Yea, that’s right, I’m about to turn 23 years old and I just bought a magazine mainly because I wanted the photos of non-nude men.

I felt compelled to include some of these said photos for viewing pleasure. (Note: I opted not to include any of the Gary Shandling photos since they totally almost killed my girl boner. Your welcome.)

But eye-candy aside, there’s also some pretty decent editorial content.I’m referring specifically to what’s included in their list of “The 113 Funniest Dudes, Dudetttes & Dirty Jokes in America” since I’ve completely skipped the first half of the issue with all the serious articles.

All three cover dudes sat down for an interview to discuss “what must be done to maintain America’s status as the most hilarious nation on earth.” Not surprising, their thoughts on the topic are hysterical. What is surprising is how they simultaneously manage to make some serious and insightful points.

When asked how the Oscars could be improved, here’s what Zach had to say:

What would be great would be if every time one of those self-congratulatory actors gets up and gives a speech about how important they are, you show footage of people trying to pay their mortgage. Or kids asking for money in the streets of New Delhi. Maybe that would make celebrity worship go away! The irony of me saying that in an interview—

As for why so many comedians suck once they reach mainstream success, Zach explains that “there’s nothing funny that comes out of comfort.”

Oh, and there are some funny females (or “dudettes”) highlighted in the issue, including comedy vet Joan Rivers and newby Emma Stone. Though, I’d be a lot happier about this if they hadn’t lumped four funny gals into the #31 spot on their list as “Visual Proof That Comedy Can Be Pretty.”

this photo cracks me up!

I’m baacckk…

I probably don’t have any regular readers so I doubt I was really missed. But if this isn’t your first time viewing this lovely blog of mine and aren’t a personal acquaintance, I apologize for the lack of new content. Also, thank you so very much for returning!

Anywho, for the last 3 months I have been interning at BUST Magazine and working weekends at H&M. My internship is now over and I’m probably going to get fired within a few weeks.

I’m heading to California on Wednesday for a much needed 7-day vacation but once I return, my depressing lifestyle of spending roughly 12 hours a day in front of my laptop and pondering my future shall resume.

So basically, you can expect some new posts shortly.

Look Like A Disney Princess at Your Fairy Tale Wedding

I suppose it was only a matter of time before a designer (and Disney) realized they could cash in on women’s obsession with that whole perfect “fairy tale wedding”/”happily ever after” with “Prince Charming” nonsense.

I have nothing against gals wanting a big, beautiful wedding. I just think it’s better that women plan their “big day” in the here and now rather than trying to play out their 12 year-old fantasies.

But anyway, designer Kristie Kelly has created a Disney Bridal Line which includes dresses, accessories, and bridesmaids gowns inspired by each of the Disney Princesses.

Here’s a preview…

I had four initial thoughts after looking through each of the collections:

1. Why do all the models look so bitchy? Like, shouldn’t they be smiling?

2. I don’t really see any resemblance between the gowns and the Princess that were their so-called inspiration.

3. I don’t like any of these gowns.

4. It would be wayy more awesome if they created tuxes inspired by each of the Disney Princes (tacky, but hilarious).